Homeward Still, Where the Lights Stay On

Rediscovering where I began so I can begin again.

Home. 

I think I’ll stay for a while. 

Since losing my mom in February, being here has been difficult. The loss is still fresh and every time I walk in the door, I feel more and more of her has been erased. Without my mom, who was always the mediator in the family, the tension within my dad and I’s already difficult relationship feels even more pronounced. She was the superhero who softened the edges, and now, without her, my instinct to survive and seek freedom has gone into overdrive. Yet, here I am again, dusting off the desks, opening the windows, and looking out at the manicured land that once felt so wild.